Cy-rebirth
I managed to reconnect the google account associated with this blog after a few years of thinking I had no chance..... Now the cursor blinks and words tumble hesitantly out again...
The thing is, when its been a long time its hard to start up a conversation or even a diatribe. I mean the challenges which present themselves through the rocky outcrops of your late thirties are no easy thing to recount with commas and crude syllogisms. Time has the capacity to evoke opacity and even early senality and thus I find that through the passage of blog, more than ten years are penned. Anyway, who am I trying to kid, late thirties is a polite way of saying 39th year.
But the passing of the last three or four years in some way has been like the bit in the horror film, just after the main characters have been introduced and the first shuddering glimpse of the foe or villain is afforded to the pop corn munching sap in the premier seats of the fading multiplex.
Good times. Bad times. Relentless times.
All the while this blog has jockeying for a small space in the blogosphere attempting to answer the tide of incessant twittering and twitching on Facebook.
So I made a challenge and commitment. Blog, Blog, Blog again!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Ramadan day#2
Really by rights this should for me be day 3 because I started fasting on Friday. But I found out that I had got the wrong day so I decided to not to fast yesterday but start today again instead. I did manage to buy Ramadan essentials from my supermarket such as the all to classic dates, nuts and fruit.
Despite being Ramadan, I believe the principle of 'carrying on' as if normal is important so all those chores which I had intended, I shall still attempt.
OK so having been fasting all day and trying to 'carrying on' as normal, a few observations have come to me.
1. Normal is not normal. normal means accessing food and water at will. The body is in control. It commands and is answered by supermarkets.
2. Ramadan is only significant for the privileged. By definition, making a 'choice' to not eat or drink is clearly a position of privilege, one denied to billions of people where is 'choice' is not available.
3. Making the choice is an act of empathy and a realisation of the first two points.
Being human is so fragile and subject to so many constraints. The body has such demands for existence that if denied, one's whole character changes. Perception of time, sounds gestures are all altered when in a state of hunger.
Really by rights this should for me be day 3 because I started fasting on Friday. But I found out that I had got the wrong day so I decided to not to fast yesterday but start today again instead. I did manage to buy Ramadan essentials from my supermarket such as the all to classic dates, nuts and fruit.
Despite being Ramadan, I believe the principle of 'carrying on' as if normal is important so all those chores which I had intended, I shall still attempt.
OK so having been fasting all day and trying to 'carrying on' as normal, a few observations have come to me.
1. Normal is not normal. normal means accessing food and water at will. The body is in control. It commands and is answered by supermarkets.
2. Ramadan is only significant for the privileged. By definition, making a 'choice' to not eat or drink is clearly a position of privilege, one denied to billions of people where is 'choice' is not available.
3. Making the choice is an act of empathy and a realisation of the first two points.
Being human is so fragile and subject to so many constraints. The body has such demands for existence that if denied, one's whole character changes. Perception of time, sounds gestures are all altered when in a state of hunger.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Ramadan Renewal
This is actually, my first proper Ramadan, as I have never before fasted for the whole of it so its a bit like a journey for me. I've always had a strange relationship with Islam, one which is distant and indecisive. On the one hand I have an inherent commitment to it, which is part of my character and on the other hand I have a fear of doctrine and religious fervour. Hopefully my little private journey through Ramadan will help me uncover some inner thoughts about being a Muslim. There comes a time when all thoughts and actions combine, I think this is the point of Ramadan.
For a long time I have been thinking about reviving this bloody blog. It was left to gather dust in the google empire like a lost Island republic in the Pacific. But I guess time just beat the stuffing out of me, until now. Now is Ramadan 2009. rather characteristically I started fasting yesterday. Ramadan actually started today. So, I've decided to swap yesterday for today - as I hadn't really prepared anyway so today I shall catch up on all those weekly tasks such as cleaning, shopping, filing and paperwork. Then this evening I shall prepare for Ramadan 2009! I hope I am forgiven for this mix up!
This is actually, my first proper Ramadan, as I have never before fasted for the whole of it so its a bit like a journey for me. I've always had a strange relationship with Islam, one which is distant and indecisive. On the one hand I have an inherent commitment to it, which is part of my character and on the other hand I have a fear of doctrine and religious fervour. Hopefully my little private journey through Ramadan will help me uncover some inner thoughts about being a Muslim. There comes a time when all thoughts and actions combine, I think this is the point of Ramadan.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Sitting...
Ok, so you blink and a year shunts past you.
So thats what getting old is all about..
Im not so sure..
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Oh my gosh! It’s been over a year since I last blogged, that shocking even by my standards.
Feerozac has been languishing in stasis, whilst all manner of mayhem and carnage has been visited upon the human hands that press these keys. Well ok maybe not. But really, a year on and what is different? Well the credit crunch for one, my engagement, a change of job and a shave. That’s a lot for one year. When time conspires to compress into the faint whisper of memories one really can only highlight events. But rather than try to update in any great detail, here’s 2007 in colours
Jan - Grey/ blue
Feb - Yellow
March - Black
April - Yellow
May - Fantastic yellow - Trip to Ibiza and Formenterra lots of relaxation great birthday celebration with mbg (my beautiful girlfriend)
June- can't actually remember
July - nada
August - orange - change of jobs - move into Finance career a good move as the credit crunch happens! Typical Feerozac..
September - stress
October - Red (of course what else?)
November - yellow
December - A startling myriad of colours: A beautiful silvery, golden glow!
2007 by colours.
Feerozac has been languishing in stasis, whilst all manner of mayhem and carnage has been visited upon the human hands that press these keys. Well ok maybe not. But really, a year on and what is different? Well the credit crunch for one, my engagement, a change of job and a shave. That’s a lot for one year. When time conspires to compress into the faint whisper of memories one really can only highlight events. But rather than try to update in any great detail, here’s 2007 in colours
Jan - Grey/ blue
Feb - Yellow
March - Black
April - Yellow
May - Fantastic yellow - Trip to Ibiza and Formenterra lots of relaxation great birthday celebration with mbg (my beautiful girlfriend)
June- can't actually remember
July - nada
August - orange - change of jobs - move into Finance career a good move as the credit crunch happens! Typical Feerozac..
September - stress
October - Red (of course what else?)
November - yellow
December - A startling myriad of colours: A beautiful silvery, golden glow!
2007 by colours.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
I wanted to write about Saddam and to post something poignant about the death penalty, but words are crude instruments when trying to encapsulate human suffering and human dignity.
So instead today has been all about the saga of the rug, work, doctors appointments, fast food landlords and girlfriends, and the night is young (how prophetic - my dad just called about the rug).
The Rug.
The rug, is a humble gift for my dad from my cousin. But it has somehow lodged itself into my patchwork dishevelled world. I have to retrieve it from a flat in Chelsea, from some woman who is always in a hurry and can not stick to an appointment. I don't know her situation, or indeed who she is, other than a co-worker of my cousin. Meanwhile I am off sick from work or at least I will be coz today was awful. So when do I find the time, and strength to go an get it?
Work.
First day back, and the momentum is as punishing as it was before the break, but with the same lack of people as before.. I don't know what to do but it seems like my job has become entirely admin based, whereby I have to book rooms, organise agendas, cajole delegates.. what the hell is this, politics? Meanwhile I'm told I'm not officially a 'project leader'..I don't want to be either..But somehow I have to be..
Doctors.
I’m ill, I know what I have, I know what I need but the only appointment is when I absolutely cannot make it - i.e. when I am supposed to meet my boss for an appraisal. You know the score, I'm sure you've been there. So tomorrow I am expected to set up camp in the surgery and pray for a slot. Bollocks, just give me some antibiotics, I'm a career asthmatic with my seven millionth chest infection.
Fast food.
Instant roast dinner from Sainsburys, the first little victory of the day.
Landlord.
Finally, raised the roof with landlord and unloaded carefully worded letter.
Girlfriend.
My girlfriend telephoned me, and suddenly its instant laughter and cheering up; the next victory of the day.
Bed.
Then the final and most delicate victory my bed for some good wholesome sleep.
So instead today has been all about the saga of the rug, work, doctors appointments, fast food landlords and girlfriends, and the night is young (how prophetic - my dad just called about the rug).
The Rug.
The rug, is a humble gift for my dad from my cousin. But it has somehow lodged itself into my patchwork dishevelled world. I have to retrieve it from a flat in Chelsea, from some woman who is always in a hurry and can not stick to an appointment. I don't know her situation, or indeed who she is, other than a co-worker of my cousin. Meanwhile I am off sick from work or at least I will be coz today was awful. So when do I find the time, and strength to go an get it?
Work.
First day back, and the momentum is as punishing as it was before the break, but with the same lack of people as before.. I don't know what to do but it seems like my job has become entirely admin based, whereby I have to book rooms, organise agendas, cajole delegates.. what the hell is this, politics? Meanwhile I'm told I'm not officially a 'project leader'..I don't want to be either..But somehow I have to be..
Doctors.
I’m ill, I know what I have, I know what I need but the only appointment is when I absolutely cannot make it - i.e. when I am supposed to meet my boss for an appraisal. You know the score, I'm sure you've been there. So tomorrow I am expected to set up camp in the surgery and pray for a slot. Bollocks, just give me some antibiotics, I'm a career asthmatic with my seven millionth chest infection.
Fast food.
Instant roast dinner from Sainsburys, the first little victory of the day.
Landlord.
Finally, raised the roof with landlord and unloaded carefully worded letter.
Girlfriend.
My girlfriend telephoned me, and suddenly its instant laughter and cheering up; the next victory of the day.
Bed.
Then the final and most delicate victory my bed for some good wholesome sleep.
Monday, January 01, 2007
..Well as far as resolutions go this is what I cobbled together:
1.Keep my word
2.Shake my booty more often then I did in 2006 (maybe like its 1999..)
3.Get a fucking life*
If you examine these closely, you'll realise that they are the same as everyone else's and indeed duplicates of other years' resolutions...ho hum..
Incidentally, getting a life actually involves me doing a bit more blogging!*
1.Keep my word
2.Shake my booty more often then I did in 2006 (maybe like its 1999..)
3.Get a fucking life*
If you examine these closely, you'll realise that they are the same as everyone else's and indeed duplicates of other years' resolutions...ho hum..
Incidentally, getting a life actually involves me doing a bit more blogging!*
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