Feerozac

Have not been blogging for some time... Accumulating experience I guess. My main preoccupation has been the quest for happiness. As always, this is the task that would appear to be central to everyone's life. Yet it would also appear that we, tend to go about it in a way which is rather round-about and perhaps fail to address it head on. For me, I realised that I have been moving is a downward spiral, with events shaping moods, and moods shaping events... A kind of self-unfulfilling prophecy. I am trying to find a method by which I can interrupt this cycle. When I find it, I'm going to put it in a bottle and sell it for millions. I think everyone has at least one self-help book inside them.

Listening to the radio at the moment, I feel as though the predominance of the Asian (Indian) music influencing all pop is fantastic. We are approaching a truly Baltinational world, forget Globalisation, this is Golabjamisation.

its your birthday

Went to the Vibe bar and then to 93feet East. Fantastic night. With friends and my brother and sister-in-law. Sometimes all one needs is to be surrounded by friends and those close, to remind you that life is good. (shit that's so corny). No but really I reminded myself that I need to not look for cobwebs in the barn, coz of course they are there... Better to just get on with it and dance.

Well, that's it.. I am 30. The watershed. Time to marry, get a mortgage, have children, get grey... Nah not really. I feel good. Good to get out a party and dance and drink. Now though its time to refocus on my masters!

I sat and watched the clock tick away my innocence. Not internal, i.e. not to do with my conscience, but innocence as I imagined in the eyes of others. It was the end of my twenties and I was embarking on the more cerebral phase in my life. 20 minutes to go… It was effortless. Suddenly the index within, my internal clock set off a siren. It was the beginning of the end I could feel it. I was inevitably drawn to the tragedy of my mortality. (30/05/2003)