Feerozac

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other : 'Does this taste a bit funny to you?'
I have passed the first year of my course, so I guess the suffering was worth something after all!

Today woke up to find that my wrist has ceased up and I can bearly type for the pain. It must be the drive onto an excercise mat that took place last night which did it! I spent about 2 and half hours in the gym last night - doing work outs and Wing Chun

Well that is that. I met my friend last night and told her exactly what I thought about the whole thing.. Well almost all. I mean I didn't quite have the heart to tell her that I thought that she had a tendency to judge people and lacked empathy or imagination. You know what she said as we left the pub?? She said :' I need a break, and to spend some time with NORMAL people..' In all seriousness!! I mean what can I say? In fact I replied, 'Normality is not all its cracked up to be'. I think that this jibe was a little too subtle for her.
Well so it goes my life!! I think I need to spend some time in my own company!

Speaking of solitude.. I realised today that everyone I work with (all men) stink to high heaven. - I am not joking.. They literally clearly don’t wash / use deodorant.

Why do people feel that they have to fill my head with a mass of useless un connected facts and trivial snippets ? Please tell me, is it just me who acts as a magnet to the verbose? Perhaps the same can be said of me??? Anyway, I have been thinking a bit about the argument:
I am trying to strike a balance between assertive and fair and stubborn and inflexible. It turns out that I shall be in the library at the same time that my friend will be there..

I have tacitly agreed to meet with her, to talk about Saturday. However in addition to that she told me that she met up with other mutual friends of mine from college in exclusion of me?? Now am I getting paranoid or was this an attempt to punish ? The fact that the other people would have normally telephoned me also to invite, but did not seems a little ominous! Damn I hate being too analytical. The problem is if this was deliberate then I have a new wave of anger rushing over me and therefore definitely do not want to meet her tonight.

Now I know that all this seems a little trivial in passing.. BUT the whole thing is starting to get me down.. Perhaps to save my sanity I should simply confront her tonight and get everything out of my system!! In fact fuck it that is what I am going to do.. She offended me on saturday, I stormed off, she took revenge on Sunday, and now expects an apology.. shit and this is just a friendship!? This is the kind of stuff I normally get when I am going out with someone.. Maybe that's what the problem is..I need to sort this out.(and before the mind plays tricks I need to state for the record : she's not my type!)

Sometimes time passes painfully slowly while also hurtling us clumsily forward, unprepared..

Sometimes I find myself in a position of profound self disbelief. Like eveything that I achieve is taken away from me by other people. This weekend I had a row with a friend. The result was that I stormed off. I have never felt that I could show my feelings in that way before with friends. One the one hand I felt that I had demostrated my protest at what was being said to me, but also I felt that I was 'giving in' and resorting to anger! BUT I was deeply offended by what was being said, so surely I have a right to feel angry? I talked about this with other friends, but I was concerned that I had only presented my side of the arguement and that they also through loyalty would automatically support me..

Anyway the whole thing has made me feel a little confused. In fact this was not aided by the fact that my friend (with whom I had the row) telephoned this morning, apparently to chastise me further for storming off!!!
ARGH that has left me even more angry.....

The World Cup is over! All a very longtime ago now. It ended and In a way I breathed a sigh of relief. I was turning a little too patriotic for my own liking, so I am glad that its over. Sport, Nationality, summer, beer not a good combination.
The exams seem a little distant now like a dream. I am also glad about that.
The summer has brought with it new challenges and frailities. I am looking into my future with renewed passion. Is there anything that I should now feel? I don't know.
I guess i am looking forward to the next year of college, and trying to focus my mind on the dissertation.