Wednesday, March 31, 2004
the times they have a changed..
The soil that has created the mother of all parliaments, seems to be fertile ground for the 21st Century form of dissent the choice of a-symmetrical enemy within. Cosmopolitan democratic societies, with the contradictions of open borders freedom of movement seem to be under threat. It seems that just when we could claim that globalisation was working, the early part of 21st Century will be remembered as a time when power could no longer determine security. Open democracies, appear to have major cracks in the paintwork, they are not responsive enough it seems.
The soil that has created the mother of all parliaments, seems to be fertile ground for the 21st Century form of dissent the choice of a-symmetrical enemy within. Cosmopolitan democratic societies, with the contradictions of open borders freedom of movement seem to be under threat. It seems that just when we could claim that globalisation was working, the early part of 21st Century will be remembered as a time when power could no longer determine security. Open democracies, appear to have major cracks in the paintwork, they are not responsive enough it seems.
Monday, March 29, 2004
BABY!
My brother and his wife had a baby girl this morning at about 4am! She's a healthy 5lb and 15oz and has my brother's eyes (apparently). My sister-in-law is well and recovering from the 27 hour labour effort.. Man it was scary seeing her in so much pain yesterday afternoon and equally scary seeing my brother looking drained and nervous! But thank God, my niece was born this morning and everyone is happy and well!
My brother and his wife had a baby girl this morning at about 4am! She's a healthy 5lb and 15oz and has my brother's eyes (apparently). My sister-in-law is well and recovering from the 27 hour labour effort.. Man it was scary seeing her in so much pain yesterday afternoon and equally scary seeing my brother looking drained and nervous! But thank God, my niece was born this morning and everyone is happy and well!
Friday, March 26, 2004
I'm teetering on the edge of Unclehood..
Thursday, March 25, 2004
21 Grams is not a first date film
I went to see this while I was in Sydney, with my girlfriend. It was the first film we saw together. It will always be the first film we saw together! Its not something I would recommend seeing if you are just starting out in a relationship... Fine if you've had a few rows and maybe been through a few traumas and most importantly, if you can share the odd silence after leaving the cinema - you're gonna need them!
I went to see this while I was in Sydney, with my girlfriend. It was the first film we saw together. It will always be the first film we saw together! Its not something I would recommend seeing if you are just starting out in a relationship... Fine if you've had a few rows and maybe been through a few traumas and most importantly, if you can share the odd silence after leaving the cinema - you're gonna need them!
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
*Racism is alive and kicking in a middle class underground cell in Clapham*..It has been years since my spider-sense tingled. Years since conversations were cut short as a result of very pregnant and ominous silences.. Years since I had that feeling that I was not really welcome. Being over 30 years old now I was, I thought prepared to understand the humiliation which is a result of realising that you have been reduced to mere pigmentation - What Fanon calls a 'corporeal schema'. But after a great night out, I found my drunken footsteps station themselves at the door of a party in Clapham. Moments before I had persuaded a girl who was leaving the party not to get into the taxi which I had just come out of. I said that it was not a legitimate driver and also she would be alone. She thanked me and was grateful for my intervention as she thought it was the cab that she had ordered. So I walked with her into the party.
This was when my spider-sense kicked in. A man who looked very much like Thom Yorke from Radiohead (I assure you that looks can deceive), turned to the girl and then to me and then back to the girl and said: 'I thought you were going to take a taxi home, not invite the taxi driver in with you..' There was no spider sense involved at this point. So I turned and calmly told the man that I was not a taxi driver but was in fact a member of the mujahuddin, and that I had just put my Ak-47 down to shake his hand. This blatant piece of reverse racist psychology was clearly too subtle for the twat, so I walked past him with the other guests I had arrived with. I went into the living room and was starting to allow what had happened to sink in, when another man entered the room. He bounded up to me and started to interrogate me as to whom I knew at the party and why I was here. Note: I was stood next to the other guests, but for some reason I had become the spokesperson for all that was sinister and threatening that could enter a house party. Note two: I was the only non-white person in the room (indeed the house). I replied by giving the full name of the girl who's invite I had taken to come to the party, as though I was dealing with a civil servant. At this point, I realised that I there was no justification for what was happening. I then decided that I would not stay at this party, as clearly there was something unsavoury going on. Note three: None of the other guests I arrived with were questioned about their credentials for entering the party. So I left. I wish that was the end, but I was truly reliant on the girl who had invited me to the party as I was stranded in London and needed to stay at her house. Moments later she came out with the hostess who apologised profusely and had brought the interrogator out.
It turned out that he was 'just being protective' of his house. I just dropped the topic. I was not going to enjoy the rest of this night, I could tell. At the party there were a few guests milling around in the kitchen. By now my old fashioned spider-sense was tingling like crazy as I talked to various people. As the night grated on, I kept hearing snippets of dull sounding ignorance. It dawned on me that I may have entered a training cell for middle-class racists. I'm probably being a little sensitive here but I did feel isolated: Whenever the topic of what had happened came up, people were so bemused that they made comical references to the 'misunderstanding' - I wanted to disappear so that they could get on the real business of conversation namely 'Who let the paranoid paki into the house'.
It has taken this long for me to process all that I thought about that night. I was slightly shocked by what happened and in some way I think I was pressurised to feel ashamed of myself for suspecting what I did. There is always a delicate game being played between racist and antiracist discourse. I never at any point in the night referred to any of the people as 'racist'. However the term was used a couple of times with reference to the question of the 'Taxi driver man' and indeed the interrogator. These references were made in earshot of me and obviously intended for me to hear. This is perhaps the most disappointing part of the night: I had busied myself with talking to other guests and trying to put the incident behind me, but I was not allowed to forget that I had entered the party and transgressed the implied social order prior to my entry. The night was punctuated with the odd comic re-enactment of the interrogation or a mock misheard parts of my conversation repeated to an audience..
As I have analysed this and gone over the incidents a few times in my mind, right now I am having a few doubts to say the least about my reading of the situation. This is often the case when one experiences social exclusion. One comes across so many voices that aim to trivalise and alienate one's perception: 'Oh he's just ignorant', or ' He's Australian!!' (I kid you not). However I am pondering: I know that the words came out as I was not the only person to hear them but I wonder, am I the only person that can still hear them?
::::: Update 25th March 2004 Upon reflection shit happens ::::::::
::::: Update 29th March 2004 Maybe its testimony to how far one internalises racism that I was hesitant to leave this post fully visible..... So I have taken the strikethrough out. And also made the heading bold rather then large text! ::::::::
This was when my spider-sense kicked in. A man who looked very much like Thom Yorke from Radiohead (I assure you that looks can deceive), turned to the girl and then to me and then back to the girl and said: 'I thought you were going to take a taxi home, not invite the taxi driver in with you..' There was no spider sense involved at this point. So I turned and calmly told the man that I was not a taxi driver but was in fact a member of the mujahuddin, and that I had just put my Ak-47 down to shake his hand. This blatant piece of reverse racist psychology was clearly too subtle for the twat, so I walked past him with the other guests I had arrived with. I went into the living room and was starting to allow what had happened to sink in, when another man entered the room. He bounded up to me and started to interrogate me as to whom I knew at the party and why I was here. Note: I was stood next to the other guests, but for some reason I had become the spokesperson for all that was sinister and threatening that could enter a house party. Note two: I was the only non-white person in the room (indeed the house). I replied by giving the full name of the girl who's invite I had taken to come to the party, as though I was dealing with a civil servant. At this point, I realised that I there was no justification for what was happening. I then decided that I would not stay at this party, as clearly there was something unsavoury going on. Note three: None of the other guests I arrived with were questioned about their credentials for entering the party. So I left. I wish that was the end, but I was truly reliant on the girl who had invited me to the party as I was stranded in London and needed to stay at her house. Moments later she came out with the hostess who apologised profusely and had brought the interrogator out.
It turned out that he was 'just being protective' of his house. I just dropped the topic. I was not going to enjoy the rest of this night, I could tell. At the party there were a few guests milling around in the kitchen. By now my old fashioned spider-sense was tingling like crazy as I talked to various people. As the night grated on, I kept hearing snippets of dull sounding ignorance. It dawned on me that I may have entered a training cell for middle-class racists. I'm probably being a little sensitive here but I did feel isolated: Whenever the topic of what had happened came up, people were so bemused that they made comical references to the 'misunderstanding' - I wanted to disappear so that they could get on the real business of conversation namely 'Who let the paranoid paki into the house'.
It has taken this long for me to process all that I thought about that night. I was slightly shocked by what happened and in some way I think I was pressurised to feel ashamed of myself for suspecting what I did. There is always a delicate game being played between racist and antiracist discourse. I never at any point in the night referred to any of the people as 'racist'. However the term was used a couple of times with reference to the question of the 'Taxi driver man' and indeed the interrogator. These references were made in earshot of me and obviously intended for me to hear. This is perhaps the most disappointing part of the night: I had busied myself with talking to other guests and trying to put the incident behind me, but I was not allowed to forget that I had entered the party and transgressed the implied social order prior to my entry. The night was punctuated with the odd comic re-enactment of the interrogation or a mock misheard parts of my conversation repeated to an audience..
As I have analysed this and gone over the incidents a few times in my mind, right now I am having a few doubts to say the least about my reading of the situation. This is often the case when one experiences social exclusion. One comes across so many voices that aim to trivalise and alienate one's perception: 'Oh he's just ignorant', or ' He's Australian!!' (I kid you not). However I am pondering: I know that the words came out as I was not the only person to hear them but I wonder, am I the only person that can still hear them?
::::: Update 25th March 2004 Upon reflection shit happens ::::::::
::::: Update 29th March 2004 Maybe its testimony to how far one internalises racism that I was hesitant to leave this post fully visible..... So I have taken the strikethrough out. And also made the heading bold rather then large text! ::::::::
Thursday, March 18, 2004
 | I was reassured that this spider was simply seeking warmth from an impending storm (incidentally, its spider sense was working overtime as the storm hit a day or two later). However, as a whimpish pom it was a constant source of amusement for my girlfriend that I would squirm at the sight of this little beauty. So typically this image is a good entry point for my little photoblog of Oz so enjoy... |
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Just when all the hyperbole was getting you down..
Coming soon.. Images from Australia.
Coming soon.. Images from Australia.
Monday, March 15, 2004
Too terrified not to vote..
A 62% Turnout with a landslide victory for a pro-peace socialist party. As I watched the news reports this morning, I found myself cheered by the jubilant scenes of Zapatero's success; but then the camera focused on a tearful woman obviously grieving for a loved one and again I felt a familiar pang of empathetic sadness. Yet it is funny how this result feels politically cathartic and in some way restores a sense of political balance. Despite the obvious implication that terrorism may be challenging our governments' positions, it appears as though the Spanish electorate required a social response to the brutality of last week. The collective response was to choose peace. I am not surprised as the result can be seen as the culmination of recent grief and the despair that has been evident since the World wide anti War protests on February 15th 2003. This is perhaps the most positive response to terror: To collectivise our suffering and to push for collective solution.
A 62% Turnout with a landslide victory for a pro-peace socialist party. As I watched the news reports this morning, I found myself cheered by the jubilant scenes of Zapatero's success; but then the camera focused on a tearful woman obviously grieving for a loved one and again I felt a familiar pang of empathetic sadness. Yet it is funny how this result feels politically cathartic and in some way restores a sense of political balance. Despite the obvious implication that terrorism may be challenging our governments' positions, it appears as though the Spanish electorate required a social response to the brutality of last week. The collective response was to choose peace. I am not surprised as the result can be seen as the culmination of recent grief and the despair that has been evident since the World wide anti War protests on February 15th 2003. This is perhaps the most positive response to terror: To collectivise our suffering and to push for collective solution.
Friday, March 12, 2004
Madrid
Its terribly shocking when you sit on a train and thinking of it exploding.. Passengers were gloomy this morning, I said 'bismillah' to myself before stepping onto the 8.33 to Kings Cross. I wondered if our World has passed into the next epoch without us realising? It would appear that liberal democratic capitalism can no longer offer the boundless freedom and security that it has done so for the last 60 years...- Well that's 'boundless freedom' for a particular group of people of course.
The terrorist response to globalisation has been to globalise. It remains to be seen if the bombs in Madrid were ETA or Al Qaeda, but to some extent it does not matter. The benchmark for terror is constantly being raised, I suppose as the stakes get higher. What scares me is how mimetic the responses from the World leaders to these acts. Jack Straw responded by arguing that the 'balance' in human rights must surely be shifted.. So what he is saying is we need to become less democratic...Terrorism is obviously not democratic.. SO does this mean that political models are converging. Are the explosions causing politics to warp and implode? Bin Laden and Bush have been compared more then once before so I shall not go there, but let me say that on the one hand violence is used to persuade the Iraqi people that democracy is the way forward by the coalition; and violence appears to be being used to persuade people to challenge the coalition and indeed the West.
In any case I suppose the idea that liberal democratic capitalism could last for ever was always unrealistic.. Empires must have a dawn and must also have a sunset, but its always 'everyday' people that suffer! The irony is that Madrid had huge protests against the War in Iraq, as did London, so if it is about Al Qaeda then I suspect support for that particular brand of politics will suffer further. That not to say that you have to support Al Qaeda in order to be anti war.. But I suspect that may people in Europe had sympathy for the 'root causes' of terrorism, namely Palestine, and US foreign policy. And I still do myself. I just cannot understand what must be in the minds of terrorists, how they can work on the fringes of morality when aiming to achieve their goals. Then again I suppose that traditional political modes of communication have become frustrated as global decisions are increasingly made in smaller exclusive circles. i.e. International finance institutions, and corporate bodies. And we have seen how the military power is stacked up against the Nation State..
I guess its a case of wait and see, I don't think that I personally have much freedom to resist either model of politics..
Its terribly shocking when you sit on a train and thinking of it exploding.. Passengers were gloomy this morning, I said 'bismillah' to myself before stepping onto the 8.33 to Kings Cross. I wondered if our World has passed into the next epoch without us realising? It would appear that liberal democratic capitalism can no longer offer the boundless freedom and security that it has done so for the last 60 years...- Well that's 'boundless freedom' for a particular group of people of course.
The terrorist response to globalisation has been to globalise. It remains to be seen if the bombs in Madrid were ETA or Al Qaeda, but to some extent it does not matter. The benchmark for terror is constantly being raised, I suppose as the stakes get higher. What scares me is how mimetic the responses from the World leaders to these acts. Jack Straw responded by arguing that the 'balance' in human rights must surely be shifted.. So what he is saying is we need to become less democratic...Terrorism is obviously not democratic.. SO does this mean that political models are converging. Are the explosions causing politics to warp and implode? Bin Laden and Bush have been compared more then once before so I shall not go there, but let me say that on the one hand violence is used to persuade the Iraqi people that democracy is the way forward by the coalition; and violence appears to be being used to persuade people to challenge the coalition and indeed the West.
In any case I suppose the idea that liberal democratic capitalism could last for ever was always unrealistic.. Empires must have a dawn and must also have a sunset, but its always 'everyday' people that suffer! The irony is that Madrid had huge protests against the War in Iraq, as did London, so if it is about Al Qaeda then I suspect support for that particular brand of politics will suffer further. That not to say that you have to support Al Qaeda in order to be anti war.. But I suspect that may people in Europe had sympathy for the 'root causes' of terrorism, namely Palestine, and US foreign policy. And I still do myself. I just cannot understand what must be in the minds of terrorists, how they can work on the fringes of morality when aiming to achieve their goals. Then again I suppose that traditional political modes of communication have become frustrated as global decisions are increasingly made in smaller exclusive circles. i.e. International finance institutions, and corporate bodies. And we have seen how the military power is stacked up against the Nation State..
I guess its a case of wait and see, I don't think that I personally have much freedom to resist either model of politics..
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Guantanamo
I agree with bongo vongo. I hope the five returnees will shed some light the social experimentation in Guantanamo bay. It is especially interesting to hear this morning that lawyers for the returnees are looking for compensation especially in the current context of 'compensation culture' being highly lauded. I wonder what level of compensation these guys get for the torture that they experienced at the hands of the Americans.. Although it seems unlikely that US state government can be held liable for any losses that may arise, as they have successfully 'offshored' the justice system for the duration of the non-trail, of the remaining 'enemy combatants'.. Cunning huh? It seems that the US State government has learned some good lessons about ambiguity from the other legal no mans-land, namely export processing zones. Perhaps camp delta should be seen as an unsavoury hybrid response to global terrorism a kind of 'injustice processing zone' whereby citizens are stripped of international rights and exist in a persistent ethical limbo
I agree with bongo vongo. I hope the five returnees will shed some light the social experimentation in Guantanamo bay. It is especially interesting to hear this morning that lawyers for the returnees are looking for compensation especially in the current context of 'compensation culture' being highly lauded. I wonder what level of compensation these guys get for the torture that they experienced at the hands of the Americans.. Although it seems unlikely that US state government can be held liable for any losses that may arise, as they have successfully 'offshored' the justice system for the duration of the non-trail, of the remaining 'enemy combatants'.. Cunning huh? It seems that the US State government has learned some good lessons about ambiguity from the other legal no mans-land, namely export processing zones. Perhaps camp delta should be seen as an unsavoury hybrid response to global terrorism a kind of 'injustice processing zone' whereby citizens are stripped of international rights and exist in a persistent ethical limbo
It was apple pie. I needed apple pie and some sleep too.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Frustrations. I am in need of something. Don't know what but I need it bad. And before you tell it is sex, I shall tell you its not. Don't tell me I'm sublimating sex for something else coz im not. What I need is colourful, warm and uplifting. It will make me feel stimulated and whole. I need to feel its clasp not on my hand but on my mind. Hey do you think I'm loosing my marbles? I shall tell you I'm not. Oh and don't tell me I need to get out and have some fun either, coz I've done that too. So what is it? A new job? A new haircut? A new religion? A new drug? A new philosophy? - in the words of David Byrne, 'Drugs won't change you, religion won't change you, what's the matter with you....' If you know the answer then send it on a post card to me at feerozac.
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Ok I'm sorry its been sooo Long since my last blog.. But a lot has been happening. I have been away to Australia and spent the good part (the best parts actually) of January and February there. It was a fantastic trip - not just a trip as such - more of a revelation.. (More about that latter). But needless to say I shall be posting some photos shortly so that I don't have to write reams of stuff about it.. - I know im a lazy blogger, its just that I am very busy at the moment.
If you like here is an executive summary of the last few weeks.
-Went to Oz to visit my most significant other. Suffered culture shock, for a day (plus a touch of jet lag). Went to Sydney for a week.
-Fell even more deeply in love with Significant other (and have not stopped yet).
-Saw some pretty amazing countryside, albeit aware of the vastness of Australia, and not even seeing the most typical sights.
-Met nice locals.
-Met a mate from college and had the most amazing chats / ideas.
-Came back to UK.
-Need to leave UK.
That's in a nutshell where I am at right now! Photos to follow soon.
If you like here is an executive summary of the last few weeks.
-Went to Oz to visit my most significant other. Suffered culture shock, for a day (plus a touch of jet lag). Went to Sydney for a week.
-Fell even more deeply in love with Significant other (and have not stopped yet).
-Saw some pretty amazing countryside, albeit aware of the vastness of Australia, and not even seeing the most typical sights.
-Met nice locals.
-Met a mate from college and had the most amazing chats / ideas.
-Came back to UK.
-Need to leave UK.
That's in a nutshell where I am at right now! Photos to follow soon.
